


loving is easy (when everything is perfect)

by eatthatup



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten is a Good Friend, Dong Si Cheng | WinWin is Whipped, Emotional Constipation, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, M/M, Making Out, Nakamoto Yuta is Whipped, Roommates, Slow Burn, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-05
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:35:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23030284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eatthatup/pseuds/eatthatup
Summary: The thing is, Sicheng is known for his lack of feelings.Not empathetic enough, not emotional enough, not expressive enough. Those are his most remarkable traits to others, and he's come to terms with it. Sicheng has no problem with the idea others have formed of him.Yet, there's a variable, a fault in that ideal world.Yuta.
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta, side Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 9
Kudos: 298





	loving is easy (when everything is perfect)

**Author's Note:**

> hello again!! this is a commission for rea, which i appreciate very very much, so thank you so much for trusting and waiting for me <3 
> 
> [if you want to commission me all the info is here!!!](https://twitter.com/ten__wv/status/1241880594625200128?s=21)

The thing is, Sicheng is known for his lack of feelings.

Not empathetic enough, not emotional enough, not expressive enough. Those are his most remarkable traits to others, and he's come to terms with it. Sicheng has no problem with the idea others have formed of him. 

Yet, there's a variable, a fault in that ideal world. 

Yuta.

His roommate, Nakamoto Yuta, a japanese guy he ended up sharing room with because the last one punched the door and broke it in half. A guy who, so slyly, got into Sicheng’s brain and changed it. 

It starts, as always, at the beginning. In this case, second year of college.

“Nakamoto,” Yuta says, bowing and stretching his hand out, “Yuta.”

Sicheng only raises an eyebrow and bows back. Yuta's hand remains in the air until he gets tired. 

“I'm Sicheng,” he replies. 

“Nice to meet you, Sicheng.”

Without replying, Sicheng enters his room and shows him around. There's not much to actually _show_ , with a tiny bathroom and a bunk bed that Sicheng hates because it's on the verge of falling apart, and a desk that he never uses for studying, only for tossing his used clothes until they accumulate and Sicheng finally takes them to the laundry room. Yuta follows closely behind him, and throws himself on Sicheng’s bed.

“That's _my_ bed.” 

“Was,” he says, head buried in Sicheng's pillow. 

“You get the top, c’mon, move,” Sicheng gestures for him to get up, but Yuta simply grumbles and hugs his precious, comfortable pillow. 

That's how it starts, at least.  
  


-  
  


“I need my old roommate back,” Sicheng announces, sitting beside Ten on a bench outside the building. 

“ _That_ bad? You want a violent, will-punch-a-wall guy back?” Ten narrows his eyes, already attempting to predict his situation. 

“Yes, I want him back,” he confirms nonchalantly, and Ten gasps.

“Is your new roommate _worse_?”

“He’s annoying, a vain asshole, basically,” his notebook is full of scribbles that are supposed to be notes and he curses himself under his breath for not being neat enough. Ten looks at him and then at the piece of paper he’s cursing at.

“Maybe he can help you have a legible handwriting.”

“Shut up,” Sicheng grumbles. His back hurts from sleeping on the top bunk. 

“Seriously, if you’re gonna room with him for the rest of the year you gotta be his friend or at least get along,” Ten says, ignoring his complaints, “grow up.”

“He slept on _my bed_ last night,” Sicheng counters, “I literally almost punched him.”

Of course, Ten only laughs, loudly. He doesn’t see the severity of the situation, he’s not the one having to sleep on the worst mattress in the entire dorm. Sicheng continues frowning and trying to discern his own handwriting. (In his defense, he’s not a native Korean speaker, and writing is hard). 

“Get to know him,” suggests Ten, “maybe you can understand him better.”

Sicheng doesn’t want to know more about him. That single interaction was enough. 

Yet, Ten’s advice remains etched in his brain.   
  


-  
  


Yuta is on the top bunk now, his belongings placed tidily on the places Sicheng had indicated for him to use. 

It’s rather a surprise, to find his room in decent conditions when there’s another person living with him. There are no clothes on the floor nor a hole on the wall, so Sicheng walks in carefully just in case, releasing his breath. 

“Hey,” says Yuta, out of nowhere, head popping out from under the covers. “Sorry about yesterday, I sleep-walk.” 

Sicheng blinks.

“You sleep-walk?”

“I sleep-talk too,” he replies. Sicheng sighs, already imagining what lays in store. 

“That’s—good to know,” Yuta smiles at him, and for some reason, it makes Sicheng want to smile back. Which he will absolutely _not_ do, but the desire is there, and it’s so weird Sicheng throws his backpack on the desk chair and grabs his phone to distract himself. 

**Ten**  
_how’s it going_

 **Sicheng**  
_he sleep walks and sleep talks, apparently_

 **Ten**  
_that’s amazing_ _  
_ _film him that’s blackmail material_

 **Sicheng**  
_and you say i’m insane_

**Ten  
** _just saying_

He chuckles and Yuta’s head emerges from the top bunk. 

“Sorry to interrupt such a hilarious moment but,” he says, and Sicheng already wants to punch him. He’s slowly turning into his old roommate. “What time is it?”

“Quarter to four,” Sicheng replies, idly scrolling through his _Instagram_ feed. (He hasn’t updated it in a while, he notices). 

“No way,” there’s ruffling and then Yuta disregarding the stairs completely, jumping off the bed and onto the floor with a loud thud. “I’m late to work.”

“You _work_?”

It’s such a foolish question he regrets it the moment the words fall out his mouth. Sicheng doesn’t want to know, but his unconscious mind seems to take over. 

“Yeah, at an ice cream shop,” Yuta replies, talking as he gets dressed. And Sicheng ignores how he undresses in front of him, looking away. “Part time, it’s good for now.”

“That’s also—good to know.”

“See? I’m the best roommate you will _ever_ have.”

Sicheng isn’t so sure of it.   
  


-  
  


They barely see each other, at first. 

With Yuta working and studying at the same time, and Sicheng doing his best to avoid any casual encounters, focusing more on his studies too, they appear to be total strangers.

Seemingly, Yuta is unsatisfied with this dynamic, and insists whenever Sicheng finds himself enjoying some free time.

“Wanna watch a movie?”

“Depends.”

“You get to choose,” Yuta says, raising both eyebrows.

Sicheng can't help but allow his lips to curve. 

“Okay, then.”

Now, when Yuta comes down and sits on his bed comfortably, it doesn't bother him as much. It's their elbows touching, as Sicheng sets up his laptop so the two of them can watch, that makes goosebumps arise on his skin. 

“It better be a good one,” comments Yuta once Sicheng presses play. He can't wait until they finish watching.

Deliberately, Sicheng chooses the worst movie he remembers ever watching. He doesn't know why, exactly, but the joy on Yuta's face slowly vanishing is more entertaining than anything they could ever do, so Sicheng goes along with it.

“Does it get better or…?” He asks, sinking into Sicheng’s pillows, eyes attentive on the screen. His laptop is starting to burn his thighs, so Sicheng slyly places it on Yuta’s for a moment. Their bodies touch, and he shivers. 

“You'll see.”

For some reason, Yuta trusts him.

Watches the entire thing, engrossed, paying careful attention. It's as if he melts into Sicheng’s bed, and once the movie ends, he's deep into the mattress, tired eyes starting to realize how ridiculous the movie was. 

“That was it?” He asks.

Sicheng nods.

“Are you kidding me?”

Sicheng nods.

He can't help but giggle this time, until it grows into full-on laughing that he finds himself unable to control. Yuta just stares at him, lost. And then frowns.

“You chose it on purpose?” He asks with a puzzled expression.

“Yeah,” finally, Sicheng replies, “worst movie I could think of.”

Now, Yuta does laugh. He laughs in a mocking way, and gazes so deeply into Sicheng's eyes he fears a little for his life. 

“ _That_ 's your worst?” Yuta questions, “I have watched worse.”

So now he does fear for his life. 

“Yeah?”

“You'll see.”

Sicheng doesn't know what he just started, but he's not afraid to admit he's _terrified_. Yuta pats his back and thanks him for the movie, climbing onto the top bunk with the promise of him choosing a movie next time. 

There's a next time, apparently.  
  


-  
  


It becomes a game of sorts. 

Who chooses the worst movies, each time trying to outdo the other. They even keep scores on a small board that hangs by the wall, covering a hole made by his old roommate. It reads:

_Yuta | | |_

_Sicheng | |_

It's a game, and then a competition. And as any competition, there's a winner and a prize. 

“I know,” says Yuta, “I get to take you on a date. The worst you've ever had.

Sicheng freezes for a moment.

“Okay,” he nods, agreeing with Yuta's proposal even if it makes his skin crawl in weird ways, “and you’ll give me free ice cream for a month.”

“A _month_?”

“ _Yep_ ,” he accentuates the ‘p’ on purpose and Yuta buries his face in his hands.

After a moment, he replies, “Deal.”

So the game is on. And Sicheng refuses to lose.  
  


-  
  


“What's the worst movie you've ever watched?” He asks Ten, who's busy frowning at his phone.

“Huh?”

“Worst movie you can think of,” Sicheng repeats. 

“Uhm,” Ten thinks for a moment, “Fast and furious 8.”

He blinks. “Any reasons?”

“I just remember falling asleep on the first half. I think I watched it on like a date or something,” now he explains, “but if we’re talking about dates I got a list and everything.”

“No, thank you,” Sicheng fakes a smile. Ten rolls his eyes at him. “I just need bad movies.”

“Google it?”

“That’s not how it works!” He exclaims.

“What’s _it_?”

So Sicheng realizes he never explained it to Ten, and the hardest part will be explaining the prizes depending on the winner. Ten will never leave him alone. 

“Well, you see,” he starts, Ten leaning forward, phone locked on the table, “as a bonding experience me and Yuta have a some kind of game going on, in which we sit down and each one chooses the worst movie we can think of.” 

Before he can even continue, Ten’s eyes start narrowing and he seems to begin making assumptions, “have you watched porn together yet?”

Sicheng splutters. “What?”

“That’s the strongest bonding experience I can think of.”

“No, _hyung_ ,” he says, “It’s the opposite. We have fun watching the other react to the movie. I made him watch _The Human Centipede_ , no pausing, and it was the third part.”

“That’s _torture_.”

“I know,” Sicheng smiles, “that’s the fun of it.”

“And? Every game has a winner,” it’s as if Ten can read his mind, or, read _him_ like an open book. Which is impossible, so Sicheng simply guesses Ten deduced it from the whole ordeal. 

“Yeah, thing is, if he wins he will take me on the worst date ever,” Ten immediately laughs, interrupting Sicheng. 

“Wow, now _that_ ’s a bonding experience,” he comments. 

“Whatever,” Sicheng continues, “if I win, he owes me a month of free ice cream.”

“Isn’t his a little bit… y’know… _homoerotic_?” 

“Ten!”

“I’m just saying! He’s _literally_ asking you on a date.”

Sicheng rolls his eyes, and ignores Ten’s words staying in the back of his mind. 

“He’s _literally_ joking, you need to meet him, you’ll realize,” he says, and then regrets it immediately. “Also, where did you even learn that word?”

“Johnny,” he answers, “don’t think I’ll ignore what you just said. Let me meet him.”

No matter how much he groans, Ten keeps on insisting, and so now he carries on his back the promise of bringing Yuta to their campus someday. He wishes he never did.   
  


-  
  


Yuta is not the insufferable person sometimes Sicheng likes to make of him.

In reality, he’s very quiet, shy at times, and only jokes around when he knows Sicheng is comfortable enough.

When finals come around and all Sicheng can think of is books, reading, revising, remembering—Yuta’s mouth seems to be sealed. He only speaks to show support, and he’s a silent, serene roomate. There are many sides to him, Sicheng realizes later on. And it intrigues him, in a way, how many other aspects of Yuta he doesn’t know yet. 

Yet, all it takes is Ten for Yuta to become just as chatty and _unbearable_ as Ten.

(He loves them both, really, but Sicheng likes some quietness sometimes, and Yuta meeting Ten is like turning on a speaker, volume level at its maximum. They talk, and talk, and at points Sicheng even feels left out). 

“I can’t believe you’ve been hiding such a funny person from me,” Ten says. 

“Same for you, damn, Sicheng, share some of your friends.”

For some reason, Ten giggles, and they continue talking as Sicheng takes in the situation. 

“I need Johnny here,” he mumbles, not really addressing any of them in particular. 

“Oh, right,” Ten says, rummaging through his bag for his phone. Once he finds it, he seemingly texts for a moment and smiles.

“He’s busy, but I might get dicked down today.”

Yuta explodes, laughing, hitting the table, and holding onto Sicheng’s shoulders as if he’s dying. Sometimes, Sicheng wishes he would. (It’s such a silly thought, yet he hates himself for even having it). 

“Shut up,” Yuta says, “I wish that were me.”

“Well, if you take Sicheng on that date…”

They both freeze, full body. Yuta grimaces and Sicheng sighs, defeated. “Stop.”

“What?”

“Just stop.”

Ten pouts. “You’re so mean, let me be a matchmaker.”

“There’s no match,’’ he mumbles. “You are the worst at matchmaking.”

“Well, I suppose I am.”

Yuta remains silent.  
  


-  
  


_Slenderman_ is a bad movie. 

Sicheng is very aware of that, since now, Yuta is winning again by a point, and the board on the wall stares back at him in a mocking way. However, that’s not the problem. 

It’s _terrible_ , laughable, second-rate, yet, Sicheng is scared. He laments even admitting it, ashamedly hiding under his covers once Yuta turns off all the lights. A dumb movie is making his eyes see shadows where there are none, hear noises when he knows they’re nothing to be worried of, and Yuta falls asleeps so easily he starts feeling _alone_. 

He can’t _believe_ it. 

“Hey,” he utters, to the blanketing darkness of their room, “are you awake?”

“Mh?”

“You awake?”

It’s an obvious question that Sicheng doesn’t even know why he’s asking. Yuta is clearly awake now, emerging from the top bunk, hanging his head down to where Sicheng is still shielding under the covers. His hair looks ridiculous, and for a moment, he forgets he’s scared of a dumb horror movie. 

“I am now,” says Yuta, “what’s up?”

“Nothing.”

“Right,” he disappears for a moment and then comes down from his bed, this time using the stairs, “you scared?”

“No,” Sicheng shakes his head, “not at all. I just wanted to know if you were scared, y’know, I felt movement up there.”

Yuta sits on Sicheng’s firm mattress and narrows his eyes. “Oh my god, you’re scared.”

“I’m not.”

“You are!” And then, in the blink of an eye, Yuta is gesturing for him to move, requesting some space beside him. And because Sicheng is scared, stupid, and naive, he lets Yuta occupy his precious personal space. He lays beside him, staring into his eyes, and then giggles. “I can’t believe it, _Dong Sicheng_ is scared because of a low-rated horror movie about _Slenderman_.”

“Shut up,” he rolls his eyes, even if he wishes Yuta would just keep talking so his mind doesn’t wander, “and get out.”

“We’re cuddling tonight.”

Sicheng’s body goes rigid. He hates it. 

“No,” he pushes Yuta’s shoulder. It’s futile. “You’re sleeping on _your_ bed.” 

“I can’t sleep if my roommate is _suffering_.” 

He is, truly, suffering. His body remains frozen until Yuta’s arms enclose him, quickly, without allowing Sicheng time to process the situation. His waist is being hugged, tightly, and—he doesn’t mind. Sicheng is not bothered, at all, by the fact that his roommate is cuddling him, and even if he will _never_ say it out loud, Yuta is comfortable and warm. 

Now, the problem is, Yuta falls asleep. Or at least doesn’t utter a single word. His eyes are closed (or, half open, that’s another fact that Sicheng found out pretty recently) and he’s breathing evenly, far from Sicheng, but still ghosting over his neck. Meanwhile, it seems as if Sicheng’s heart won’t stop beating wildly, his hands still sweating. He’s nervous, for no reason, but Yuta’s body near him is calming enough. 

It only takes him a few minutes, to process it, and then doze off. The last thing Sicheng sees is the dirty white of the wall, and the last thing he remembers is Yuta pulling him closer. 

-

He wakes up with two arms around his hips and panics immediatly. 

“What the _fuck_ ,” he mumbles, attempting to escape the tight grip. 

“Uhm?”

Yuta’s eyes snap open.

“What the _fuck_?”

They both stare at each other for a moment, silently, and then find the right words.

“You don’t remember—”

“What am I doing here?”

So he answers Sicheng’s question before he can even finish saying it. Apparently, Yuta is as shocked as he is, and that is a problem.

“ _You_ came here and cuddled _me_ ,” Sicheng clarifies, just in case, “you don’t remember?”

“No!” he exclaims, “I told you, I’m a sleep-walker.”

So, Yuta talked to him so in character and enthusiastic, but _asleep_. The concept of sleep-walking is already hard to grasp, so Sicheng is having a hard time understanding how they held an entire conversation and Yuta doesn’t remember. 

“Oh god, I’m sorry,” Yuta begins apologizing, “I swear I still don’t understand how it happens. Or why.”

“Don’t worry,” he says, they stare at each other, and Yuta realizes they’re still way too close. He pulls away and sits on the bed, stretching. Sicheng wants to never watch a movie again.

“What did I even _say_?”

Sicheng realizes he’d have to admit, out loud, that he was scared. That he called out for Yuta’s help, unconsciously, and provoked this, in some sort of way. 

“Not much, uh, I was just having trouble sleeping and you simply—came to my bed and cuddled me.”

“Wow, sorry, dude,” he says, looking around for his clothes. It’s weird to even watch it happening. 

(Sicheng’s mind compares it to a one night stand, drunk, forgetting what happened last night. And he physically shakes his head at the thought). 

Yuta continues talking as he puts on a clean shirt. “But you’re warm, though. I slept nicely. That top bunk’s been killing my back.”

Honestly, Sicheng pities him a bit. His mattress might be the worst in the entire dorm, and they could easily save up and buy a new one yet Yuta almost never complains (nor punches a wall, which is a plus). For a moment, he considers gifting him one. 

Then Sicheng realizes he doesn’t even know when Yuta’s birthday is. 

“Well, you deserve it for cuddling me,” it’s what comes out of his mouth. There are never nice words, and it’s what makes people label him as a soulless person, inexpressive. 

“Thanks,” Yuta says sarcastically. “I’ll sleep every night on your bed and you’ll regret it.”

“Surely.”

The thing is, Sicheng has never had a better night of sleep in his life. Warm, cosy, placid. It pains him to acknowledge it. 

**Sicheng**  
_yuta cuddled me last night_ _  
_ _i’m having trouble processing this information_

_i hate this_

**Ten**  
_I LOVE THIS_

_FINALLY_

**Sicheng**

_he sleep-walks, remember?_

**Ten**

_ok and??_

_god finally_ _  
_ _you get human contact and interactions_

**Sicheng**  
_i’m texting you for help_

**Ten**  
_help with what?_ _  
  
_

**Sicheng**  
_i want to gift him a new mattress_

**Ten**  
_damn that’s so romantic_ _  
_ _why do you even need my help??_

**Sicheng**  
_you’re so annoying_ _  
_ _and i don’t know his birthday_ _  
_ _and you know everything_

**Ten**  
_that i do_ _  
_ _wait a min_

**Sicheng**  
_you’re just going to look it up on facebook_

**Ten**

_i did_ _  
_ _guess what_ _  
  
_

**Sicheng**  
_?_

**Ten**  
_october 26_

**Sicheng**

_oh wow_

**Ten**

_you’re both scorpios_ _  
_ _seriously i’m praying you won’t kill each other or smth_

“I gotta go to work,” Yuta brings him back to the real world, “sorry for—cuddling you.”

“It’s okay.”

Then, Yuta smiles, and the uneasiness he was feeling is suddenly gone. It’s okay, he will follow his own advice.

**Sicheng**  
_ok then_ _  
_ _i’ll need help carrying it_

-

On the morning of Yuta’s birthday, Sicheng greets him with a brand new and clean mattress. 

The surprise on his face is worth what Sicheng had to save up for, and the pure joy that overtakes him after is simply priceless. Sometimes, Yuta is a happy pill, as ridiculous as it might sound.

“Wow,” he utters, “thank you so much, dude.”

He grimaces at the word. Well, not everything can be perfect.

“You’re welcome,” Sicheng says, “now that I have some power over you—stop calling me dude.”

“Sorry, dude,” Yuta replies, mockingly. 

“Shut up!”

“Dude, calm down.”

Ten is at the back, watching attentively as they banter, and Sicheng can see, once they make eye contact, exactly what Ten is thinking as he assesses them. He’d rather not know, nor talk about it. 

“Ok, I’ll stop saying it,” Yuta sits on his new mattress and moans. “ _Ohh_ , now _this_ is a bed.”

They stare at him laying pacifically, eyes closed, and Ten raises his eyebrows at him. Sicheng wants to kill him. 

“Please don’t punch a hole in it.”

“Can’t promise that,” he says, smirking. Yuta likes to smirk a lot, and Sicheng is starting to get a bit nervous around him when he gets in that flirty, coy mood. Ten, of course, notices right away, and laughs at the situation as if it’s the funniest thing in the world. 

“Yuta-hyung, you doing anything tonight?” Ten asks, disregarding Sicheng’s existence.

“Yeah, probably go out to a bar, you are coming right?” 

“Of course I am.”

“Bring your boyfriend,” he says, “and friends.”

Sicheng knows already that the night won’t end well. 

-

It starts well. 

They find a bar that isn’t as crowded as the others, and miraculously locate a table where they all fit nicely. The music is nice, the ambient seems to be chill, and Sicheng feels relaxed without having even taken a drop of alcohol yet.

Then Yuta and Ten begin talking. 

“This is Johnny,” he introduces them, “my boyfriend. Hopefully _fiancé_ soon.”

The entire table utters a long ‘ _ohhhh_ ’ and Johnny’s cheeks go a scarlet red. Sicheng likes him, and curses the two shots of _tequila_ ten has drank already.

Yuta is at the head of the table, a bit pink, dressed up in black, a single vodka shot running through his veins. He’s laughing, carefreely, and it hurts a bit inside. Sicheng doesn’t know why, nor he questions it. 

“A pleasure to finally meet you,” he says, this time not being inappropriate. (He doesn’t know why, exactly, Yuta is behaving like a normal human being. Maybe alcohol has a different effect on him). 

“Thank you for inviting me,” Johnny tells him, a smile on his face. Sicheng can’t help but let his lips curve, too, and allow the moment to embrace him and take him wherever it wants to. Now, for example, he wants some alcohol. 

Ten hands him a blue mix that Sicheng would rather not know what it’s made of or where it comes from, and he gulps it down in one go. It sets his throat on fire, slowly.

“Ohhh, tell him about that bet of yours,” Ten says, annoyingly pushing at Yuta’s shoulder, who seemingly doesn’t care, and pays careful attention to the words coming out of Ten’s mouth. 

“I’ll take him out on a date,” he replies, casually, Ten giggles and Yuta realizes just a few seconds later that he hasn’t clarified yet, “the worst one. He’s gonna suffer.”

“Am not,” Sicheng mumbles. His lips are numb, for some reason, and taking another shot seems like a good idea to his inebriated brain. 

“You are,” Yuta gazes at him, with such intensity now Sicheng has to stare at the empty glass in front of him. “I’m gonna win.”

That, Sicheng will not allow. 

“We will see tomorrow night.”

“Oh, we will.”

For some reason, both Johnny and Ten look at them for a few seconds and then laugh, as if a joke has been told and they haven’t heard it. 

“What?”

“That sounded weirdly sexual,” Ten says, “that’s all.”

Johnny keeps on laughing, drinking the same beer that’s been on the table since the beginning of the night. Yuta continues sharing that blue liquid with Ten, and apparently bond more than expected. 

“He’s a nice scorpio, see,” again, Ten begins, “Sicheng is the kind of scorpio you don’t want in your life, but Yuta-hyung is a nice addition, except the emotional constipation.” 

Frowning, Yuta pouts, “hey!”

“What?”

“I’m very emotional, okay?”

“Of course you are, but you’ll never let others know. You just joke around and pretend it’s all okay,” Ten continues, figuring Yuta out, doing a good job, seemingly. Yuta complains and tells him that’s not him at all, but even Sicheng knows that Ten’s description was strangely specific and on point. 

The night ends well. Sicheng thinks he can find happiness. 

-

What doesn’t end well is their little competition. 

That stupid bet, that game. Of course, the next day, they decide to use Yuta’s mattress for the first time by watching a movie on his bed this time. It’s a bit tighter, if Sicheng has to be honest, but with Yuta personal space has now become non-existent. 

Yuta chooses, because it was his birthday, and his turn, and _blah blah_.

“What are we watching?”

“The best movie of all time,” Sicheng squeezes his eyebrows, “Jack and Jill.”

“No way,” he curses under his breath. If there’s a genre that Sicheng hates it’s comedies. 

“Yes,” Yuta confirms, sitting straighter and holding the laptop on his thighs. Sicheng mentally thanks him for not simply throwing it on his thin and scrawny legs. 

“I hate comedies,” he states, as if Yuta doesn’t know and isn't doing it on purpose, “I hate _you_.”

“We’ll see about that.”

Sicheng attempts to pay attention, or maybe distract himself with something in the room (they have rules, phones are not allowed, and their eyes must stay on the screen), but the movie is so utterly ridiculous he has to pause it and give the point to Yuta, ultimately naming him the winner of their never-ending competition. 

_Yuta | | | | | | |_

_Sicheng | | | | |_

“So,” Yuta starts, “I win.”

Those words haunt him. Sicheng can only grumble and go down the stairs, noting down the point on the board. Yuta cheers and then, out of nowhere, he realizes that date will become a reality. 

“Finally, I’m taking you on a date,” Yuta says, tauntingly. “Your worst.”

And well, Sicheng _can’t_ wait. 

-

Yuta dresses nicely, with a blazer and a white dress shirt, though he wears sneakers and wide pants. 

Now, Sicheng has no idea which clothes to choose, and he ends up having no option but to resort to Ten, sadly. 

**Sicheng**

_what do i wear to a date that’s not a date but a penalty_

**Ten**  
_omg_ _  
_ _omg_ _  
_ _you’re taking it srsly_

**Sicheng**  
_i am not_

**Ten**  
_you’re overthinking what to wear_ _  
_ _that’s going on a date 101_

**Sicheng**  
_you’re so annoying_

**Ten**  
_is that the only word you know?_

**Sicheng**

_yes_ _  
_ _now help me_

**Ten**  
_just wear something casual_ _  
_ _don’t give him false hopes_

**Sicheng**  
_why would that even happen?_

**Ten**  
_idk i’m just saying_

**Sicheng**  
_he’s the one who keep saying it’s a penalty, so i hope he doesn’t making me suffer that much_

**Ten**  
_please tell me all about it_

**Sicheng**  
_…. ok_

Before he can even open his wardrobe, Yuta is texting him. 

**Yuta**  
_wear what i left in my side of the wardrobe hehe_ _  
_ _hope it fits_

Sicheng unlocks the door of Yuta’s wardrobe, a tad afraid, and finds a bright blue suit hanging neatly. He sighs. 

**Sicheng**  
_why_

**Yuta**  
_i won babe_ _  
_ _so now you’re gonna wear it_

**Sicheng**  
_i hate you_

Still, Sicheng does put it on. He looks ridiculous, of course, but he guesses that was what Yuta wanted. It’s all a game, after all, a dare that’s supposed to have a forfeit he must pay for. It fits, at least, and Sicheng stares at his figure a bit too long on the mirror.

He sends a pic just in case.

**Yuta**

_perfect_

_you look as absurd as i wanted !_

_no offense you still look nice_

**Sicheng**  
_let me say it again_ _  
_ _i hate you_

**Yuta**  
_you don’t ;)_

Just like in a date, Yuta picks him up (as if they don’t live together, as if he even owns a car to show off), and they walk to the nearest park to have an impromptu picnic, because Yuta didn't exactly intended for it to happen, and his initial plan cancelled last minute. 

“Welcome to your worst date ever,” Yuta tells him. “You’re not allowed to fall in love.”

Sicheng grins. “That won’t be a problem.”

It’s nice, actually, to spend time with him, outdoors, not locked in their room enduring terrible movies and breathing the same air because there are no windows. Sicheng almost _enjoys_ it. And he hates himself for it. 

“Do you like grapes?” Yuta asks, throwing one in the air and catching it with his mouth. Sicheng is a bit impressed, he’s not gonna lie. 

“Yeah,” he replies. 

Yuta shoves one in his mouth, chewing loudly, before throwing one at him without warning and hitting his cheek. He quickly apologizes, but Sicheng can see the smile on his face. His mouth curves too.

“Again,” he says, opening his mouth.

Once the grape is in the air, Sicheng attempts to place his mouth near where it’s supposed to fall, and now it hits his eye. He’s terrible at it, and they both laugh, loudly, no holdbacks. 

They continue trying, even if Sicheng only manages to make one land in his mouth, and Yuta cackles at him in a good way. This time, Yuta doesn’t mock him, and Sicheng begins to feel a tension blanketing them, as if something has suddenly changed. Maybe it’s because he’s genuinely having fun, or the fact that Yuta’s smile is making his stomach flip. 

Sicheng relishes in the moment and forgets about it. 

“Y’know, I didn’t expect you to be fun to spend time with,” Yuta says. 

“That’s incredibly mean,” he replies, “but valid.”

“You’re just mean,” then Yuta pouts, and Sicheng feels just a bit bad.

“I guess it’s my own coping mechanism, I’m not used to opening up.”

“That’s okay,” Yuta smiles, dazzlingly. Sicheng hates that he’s _attractive_. “I got my own coping mechanism. We all do. But maybe try and open up a little, you’re fun, and nice.”

“No one ever called me nice,” he chuckles.

“Wow, a first.”

It’s a nice date. Fake date. Penalty date. Yet Sicheng has fun, and in the back of his mind, the thought that he’d choose this over ice cream starts to grow. 

“Y’know, I’d be in eternal debt if you had won,” Yuta admits, “free ice cream… You’re insane.”

Sicheng chuckles and nods, unable to find words to respond. He’s aware of it, but never expected it to go this far. 

Never expected to find Yuta _appealing_.

-

Things change.

Between them, there is some tension that Sicheng is starting to find unbearable. 

He doesn’t understand why, or when, but when their bodies accidentally brush electricity runs through Sicheng’s entire body. He shivers and swiftly pulls away, just in case—just in case Yuta feels it too, experiences what Sicheng is going through. He’s not ready to face it yet, so he remains quiet and pretends the suffocating tension doesn’t exist.

“I think me and Johnny are adopting.”

Sicheng almost spits the soda inside his mouth. 

“What—”

“A dog! Let me finish the sentence, God,” Ten says. Sicheng breathes again.

“You had me for a moment,” he admits, “I don’t trust you two.”

“We are college students,” he states, “I don’t even know how we’ll take care of the dog.”

“Then why are you doing it?” 

“It’s an important step in our relationship, I guess,” Ten checks his phone, and gather his belongings. “Anyways I gotta go. Text me if anything happens.”

“I won’t.”

“Yeah right.”

So Sicheng hasn’t told Ten yet. It’s such a weird feeling, a strange sensation, he doesn’t dare to even say it out loud. And he knows Ten will exaggerate it, tell him he’s in love, that he must confess and _marry_ him. Yuta seems unaware, too, so Sicheng suffers alone. That thought that was planted at the back of his mind grows slowly and doesn’t help at all. 

He purposely arrives late to the dorm, praying Yuta is asleep. He isn’t. 

“Oh, here you are,” Yuta greets him, “wanna watch a movie? A good one. Four stars on _Letterboxd_.”

Sicheng freezes. Still, his unconscious mind answers before him.

“Sure.”

They sit side by side, and the contact of Yuta’s skin is so present Sicheng can’t even focus on the movie, he fixates on the warmth of his body, on the sleeveless shirt he’s wearing, on his exposed shoulder and the moles on his arm. It’s _unbearable_. 

“This is boring,” he says. It’s not, at all, but Sicheng can’t concentrate on it when his thoughts are racing and he can’t put them together. It bothers him, to the point he excuses himself to the bathroom and locks himself in until his mind is quieter, and he feels relieved. 

“What’s wrong?” Yuta asks. There’s nothing _wrong_. 

“Nothing, I think I’m too tired.”

“You’ll regret not watching _Parasite_ ,” he says. 

Sicheng lays on his bed and stares at the bottom of Yuta’s mattress. “I’ll regret failing my finals.”

“Valid.”

He wishes the stress that overtakes him was about college. 

-

It’s a hard task to avoid Nakamoto Yuta.

An undoable one, Sicheng would say. So he finally seeks Ten’s help. It goes better than he thought. 

“I feel like something has changed,” he explains, “and I feel weird around him.”

“Hm.”

“Is that all you have to say?” Sicheng asks, incredulous. 

“No,” Ten replies, “I’m just processing it all. Dong Sicheng has feelings, mh.”

“Feelings? Not at all.”

Ten raises both eyebrows at him. Sicheng hates him. He hates that he’s always right, that he reads him like an open book, that no matter how much he teases him—he’s there for him, without exception. 

“Not saying _romantic_ feelings,” Ten begins, “maybe you just _like_ him as a friend, and want to know more about him, and that scares you.” 

“How do you even like someone as a friend?” he asks, curious. It’s a concept he hadn’t heard before.

“You don’t. You just like him but will never admit it so I’m trying to go slow.”

God, Sicheng hates him (he doesn’t). 

“Shut up,” he says, “I don’t. He’s just—weird around me too. We haven’t properly talked in like two days.”

“But you’re avoiding him, right?” Ten inquires.

“Yeah,” he answers, “I told you, it’s so… I don’t know.”

“Then talk to him,” with a smile on his face, Ten suggests, “you can’t keep avoiding him forever.”

“Who says so?”

Simply staring at him is enough for Sicheng to understand, so once he’s collected his thoughts, he decides to go all out. Bring Yuta dinner and talk, like adults, like college students that have no idea what they’re doing.

**Sicheng**

_are you free tonight?_

**Yuta**  
_ohh nooooo_ _  
_ _i’m sorry_ _  
_ _why?_

**Sicheng**  
_nothing_ _  
_ _just asking_

He goes to sleep that night with tears in his night, feeling pathetic, and empty food sitting on the counter of the small kitchen. Sicheng doesn’t understand.

-

As if Yuta reads his mind, he greets with chinese food once Sicheng comes home a few days later, at night. 

His eyes are droopy from reading too much and listening to Ten complain about his dog destroying everything in their apartment, yet he attempts to stay awake for the sake of finally speaking to Yuta. 

“Sorry about the other day,” he says, “a friend needed me.”

“It’s okay, it was nothing,” Sicheng lies, “I just wanted to know if you were gonna be here.”

“Oh,” suggestively, Yuta’s eyebrows go up and down, and Sicheng rolls his eyes, “did you invite someone over?”

“No, Yuta,” he denies his senseless question, and starts eating the food before it goes cold.

“Okay, just asking, y’know.”

They sit in silence on Sicheng’s bed, eating slowly, Yuta stealing glances at him, and Sicheng pretending he doesn’t notice. The tension starts weighing on his chest. “I wanted to tell you something,” he announces suddenly, “or, well, ask for your opinion.”

“Mh?”

  
  
  


“I think I want to change majors,” Yuta confesses. For a moment, Sicheng’s heart stops beating. Even if people think he doesn’t have one. 

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he says, “I don’t know what to do, I love studying here, but maybe trying something different could be better too.”

He acts. Sicheng acts as if he doesn’t mind it, and nonchalantly eats his cold food, as if it isn’t stuck in his throat, like a lump he can’t swallow. 

“That’s cool,” it’s all he replies. “Do your own thing.”

“So you wouldn’t mind?” He asks. There’s a serious expression on Yuta’s face, one that’s rare to see. “If I changed majors, started in a new university and moved out.”

“As long as the succeeding roommate doesn’t punch a hole in the wall, it’s okay, I think.”

Sicheng lies. He pretends. Thoughts grow, wrap around him, and he lies. He’s the best at it. 

-

Then begins his downfall. 

Because Yuta seriously considers it, and Sicheng doesn’t want a new roommate, doesn’t want to say goodbye, doesn’t want him to go to another university and meet new people, new friends, new future partners. 

He’s jealous, Ten tells him.

And for the first time, maybe Sicheng is. Perhaps he’s jealous of the thought of Yuta with another roommate that isn’t him, watching movies without him, eating dinner with another person. 

“Oh my god,” Ten had said, “you’re jealous.”

“I am not.”

“You are, you’re sad because he will leave you.”

“I mean, he doesn’t know yet,” he had countered, trying to be hopeful.

“God, I’ve never seen you like this,” he said and then sighed, “oh, what a wonderful thing to be in love.”

The fact that Sicheng doesn’t deny it is worrying enough. Overthinking it the entire night is worse. 

-

Yuta is stressed out.

It’s something Sicheng is not used to seeing at all, because Yuta simply hides every negative feeling he’s experiencing and pretends it’s okay. So now that Yuta enters the room with a frown on his face and a slam of the door, he’s slightly surprised.

(Yuta shows emotions, he does, constantly. If he’s angry you can notice at a far distance, whenever he’s happy he’ll let you know, but stress and anxiety are the kind of feelings he refuses to display). 

“You okay?”

Yuta replies with a groan and a sigh. 

“No,” he says.

“Wanna, uhm, talk about it?” Sicheng proposes, awkwardly. 

“No.”

So that’s what their conversation consists of. Yuta climbs to the top bunk and grabs his phone, seemingly to distract himself. 

Sicheng takes his chance. Follows him, sits on the edge of his bed, legs dangling, and looks at him for a few moments until he’s brave enough to speak. “Wanna watch a movie?”

“Now that would be good,” Yuta nearly mumbles. He looks sad, and it breaks Sicheng’s human and heavy heart. 

Once Yuta shifts on the bed, allowing some space for Sicheng to fit in, he does. Their shoulders touch, sparks running down his spine. It’s such a abnormal feeling, out of the ordinary. Sicheng is still trying to figure it out, until Yuta places his head on his shoulder.

It makes it harder. Harder to breathe, to control his heartbeat. 

“Thank you,” he says. Sicheng notes he’s being genuine. “For being here for me.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he dismisses it with a wave of his hand, “now let’s watch _Parasite_ for real.” 

Yuta smiles. “Oh, you know me.”

They lay back, Yuta’s laptop on top of the both of them, and the movie plays in the background. Sicheng attempts to concentrate, once again, but fails. It’s fruitless. And now, tragically, Yuta seems to notice. 

“Hey,” he turns his head towards Sicheng at the same time he gazes at him. Their noses are inches apart, and Sicheng finds himself unable to breathe.

“You paying attention?”

“I am,” he says, “I promise.”

“Okay.”

Sicheng lies again. The shape of Yuta’s lips stays engraved in his mind. 

-

Lying doesn’t work anymore, everyone sees right through him.

Johnny, incredibly, is the first to notice. (Although Ten knows, Johnny seemingly stares deeply into his soul).

“Why are you so stressed?”

“Huh?”

Johnny leans forward. “You look stressed. Like, as if a lot is going through your mind. That’s weird of you.”

“I know,” Sicheng admits. He’s tired, and lying doesn’t work. “I think I like Yuta.”

Contrary to Ten, Johnny’s reactions are soft and gentle, like a father, like someone who understands even though he’s never with him. 

“Oh,” he murmurs. “And why does it stress you out so much? Is he not available?”

“He—I don’t know, I think he might move out, he’s been sad lately.”

Johnny nods, understanding, and perhaps this is the first time Sicheng’s been so open about something. 

“Well, talk to him,” he says, “do it before it’s too late.”

It hurts to hear it. Sicheng is very aware of it, of lost opportunities, of Yuta naturally moving out and Sicheng staying with his heart on his sleeve, in his mouth, like words that were never said and he’ll regret it for life. (He feels dramatic. Ten would be proud).

“I know.”

“You know what I went through,” Johnny starts, “I dumped my girlfriend of years because I liked Ten and couldn’t lie to myself anymore. I took my chance, I risked it all, but here we are. Raising a dog together—trying, at least.”

Sicheng smiles. “Thank you, seriously.”

“Don’t thank me,” he says, “I’m glad you opened up, I hope it makes you feel better.”

It does. His chest feels less heavy, a weight being lifted, and his lungs expand completely once he breathes. There’s still a lump in his throat, words that need to be uttered. Words that he’s too afraid to say. 

Sicheng doesn’t lie anymore. 

-

“We need to talk.”

That’s the first thing Yuta says to him on a Friday, cold night. It’s an important detail, because Sicheng takes his time taking off his coat and scarf, panicking already. Those are words he never wanted to hear. 

“Uh, okay, let me just—” 

His backpack is thrown on their precious, for-tossing-stuff chair. 

“I need your help,” he says, and Sicheng breathes. At least it’s not an accusation of how he’s been acting weird and probably likes him, how it’s making him uncomfortable and he needs to move out. (That’s an scenario, one of many, that Sicheng created inside his head). “I have a serious problem.”

“What happened?!”

Yuta sighs, and then starts. “So my ex is back, I hate him, and I want him out of my life. But he won’t leave me alone, he keeps texting me stuff about seeing me and giving him another chance. I didn’t know what to do until I remembered one of the movies we watched.”

“You got an idea from a low-rated movie?”

“Yes.”

Sicheng smiles. “I’m sorry about your ex.”

“It’s okay, but you will help me or I will destroy your Nintendo Switch,” he threatens him and it only makes Sicheng chuckle, although he sees Yuta capable of doing that. 

“Okay, I will, just tell me.”

“You need to be my boyfriend for one night.”

Sicheng’s heart drops to the lowest part of his body. He hates Yuta. He hates his feelings for him. He hates that he’s actually excited for it, even if it’s fake. 

“Huh,” he utters, “so, a fake boyfriend to scare your ex away?”

“Basically.”

“I can do that.”

“Oh God, thank you,” then, Yuta kisses his forehead, and the butterflies (as Ten called them) inside his stomach go crazy. Sicheng does too.

“Ew,” he fakes disgust and Yuta laughs, pushing him out of his bed, still being gentle and careful of not making him fall.

It’s in the details. 

So now Sicheng has a fake boyfriend and a crush. 

-

The night it all goes down is a Friday, too.

It isn’t cold nor warm, just the perfect temperature to wear a sweater and once inside take it off. That’s what Sicheng does, Yuta takes him to a bar where he’s supposedly going to meet with his ex, and the sticky warmth from the place instantly embraces him. They sit on two free stools near the counter and quickly order some alcohol to digest the situation. 

“I think I’ll need like three shots of these, or ten, or a thousand,” Yuta comments. 

Sicheng stops him, and allows him to gulp down a single shot of _tequila_ , to wear off the stress he’s carrying on his shoulders. He knows what it feels like.

“We need to focus, right?”

“Right.”

Then it starts. Yuta gazes at him for a bit too long, and Sicheng _sees_ how his eyes go down to his lips. It lasts maybe a second, but it makes his stomach churn and turn into fire. 

“Focus,” says Sicheng. It’s more directed to himself than Yuta.

Apparently, Yuta sees his infamous ex entering the bar. It surprises Sicheng a little when Yuta points at the person and he’s a male, well dressed, serious. Well, it more than surprises him, it makes his heart beat wildly, and his hands sweat until they’re grossly damp. 

“There he is,” Yuta stares daggers at him. The guy looks around and then fixates on Yuta once he finds him, making a beeline for where they’re sitting. 

“Hey,” the guy says. Yuta’s serious expression could be seen kilometers away. “It’s nice to see you.”

“A displeasure to see you too,” he replies. His ex rolls his eyes and takes a seat, still ignoring Sicheng’s existence.

“You’re still the same.”

“Of course I am.”

Sicheng now chuckles. 

“And this is?” The guy asks, now curious.

“My boyfriend.”

Those words are what make Sicheng reach his limit. His heart doesn’t exactly shatter, but it feels as if his chest might burst open at any moment. There are knives in his throat that don’t allow him to speak. 

“Oh,” he doesn’t seem exactly surprised, but he does look Sicheng up and down, “you scored a handsome one. Hope it lasts.”

The guy smiles then, and Sicheng can see right through him, how it’s fake, how he doesn’t mean anything that comes out of his mouth.

“Let me know when you get a real one.”

Both Sicheng and Yuta stare at each other, wide-eyed, as the guy leaves to the dancefloor. 

“How did he even know?” asks Yuta, shout-whispering. 

“I don’t know, I did nothing,” he says, almost defending himself. But Yuta’s face brightens. 

“You did nothing! That’s it! I need to show him, let’s go,” he says, grabbing his hand, interlacing their fingers together. 

It doesn’t hurt. Sicheng refuses to let it affect him. 

Now, on the dancefloor, he feels a bit awkward, especially because Yuta’s is a natural, and Sicheng is used to staying in the corner, nearly hidden, and now being the center of attention is a bit frightening. 

“What am I supposed to do?” he asks, murmuring. Yuta apparently still hears it, even over the music. 

“Put your hands on my shoulders,” Yuta guides him. Sicheng follows. “And now get closer. Don’t be scared. You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Actually, he sees a God up close, which makes him pale and sweaty. Sicheng notices there’s some sparkly glitter on Yuta’s eyes, falling to his cheeks, and he feels his own body heating up just staring at the details on his face. 

“Ok, now what?”

“He’s staring,” Yuta says. “Oh, well—”

They kiss. Yuta leans forward, holds onto his waist, and kisses Sicheng, pressing his lips against his gently, softly, sweetly. In a way that shouldn’t be allowed because it makes him feel _love_. And that is a new feeling. 

Yuta opens his mouth for a moment, just slightly, and Sicheng naturally turns his head to deepen it, relishing in the way their lips slide together. He shouldn’t be enjoying it this much. He shouldn’t be enjoying it at all. 

Finally, they pull apart. 

Yuta stares at him and him only. It makes him feel _adored_. 

“Sorry,” he gulps, and gazes down at his mouth. It drives him insane. “That was a bit—unexpected.”

“Don’t worry, uhm, I—think he’s looking again.”

Maybe Sicheng will allow himself to lie a little. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Yet Yuta doesn’t care, doesn’t look back, only looks into Sicheng’s eyes and they both want the same thing. They both share a feeling, a desire. So they lean in at the same time, lips slotting together like a puzzle, like the missing piece that Sicheng has been so desperately looking for. He grabs Yuta’s neck and pushes forward, not minding at all that he might appear eager. Because he is, he wants more, and the way Yuta’s hand circle around his waist is enough to turn his stomach into a wildfire now, spreading through his veins. 

Air is the reason they part.

“Wow,” Yuta says, “that was—”

“A lot.”

“Listen—”

“I know what you’re gonna say, and I’m sorry I overstepped some boundaries, I just really appreciate you, and like you, and—

“Shut up, God, you never speak and now interrupt me before I can even finish what I need to say?”

Sicheng smiles. They remain in the same position as before, with Yuta hugging his waist and Sicheng’s hands on his shoulders. 

“I like you, too, more than a friend, more than a roommate, y’know, typical stuff—falling in love with your roommate.”

Sicheng gulps. Happiness overwhelms him, and the word _love_ echoes around his mind. 

“I—need time to process this, uhm, how? Why?”

“Let’s go somewhere else.”

They end up outside, under the night sky, painted a dark blue with a round and glowing moon. It’s chilly, now, and Sicheng shivers, although he knows it’s not from the cold. It’s because Yuta stares at him, and there’s fondness in his eyes. 

“I think I just liked you since the beginning—but all those times watching movies made me realize it was more than a fleeting crush.”

Sicheng looks back at him. “Seriously? I’ve been suffering since you told me you were thinking of leaving.”

Yuta laughs. “Nah, I wasn’t gonna leave, but I considered the option. And told you to see your reaction.”

“I’m sorry I’m an expressionless machine,” he says, “I must have hurt your feelings.”

“I can see every emotion you go through, y’know, you’re not that hard to read,” he tells him, chuckling. Sicheng pouts and Yuta’s eyes go straight to his lips.

“Can I kiss you?”

“You don’t need to ask.”

-

So Sicheng still doesn't have a real boyfriend..

And Ten is _perplexed_.

“You _what_ ?!” He yells, completely disregarding they’re on campus and _everyone_ will hear. “You haven’t talked to him yet? Asked him to be your boyfriend?”

“We kissed,” Sicheng explains, “and I don’t know how to proceed.”

“But—like, wait, how was it? Who initiated it?”

“You’re seriously insufferable,” he rolls his eyes, but loves Ten too much, no matter how much he complains. “It was just fake at first, then Yuta told me he never intended to make his ex jealous or something, he just wanted to kiss me. I initiated it the second time.

Ten gasps. “You made out _two_ times? Oh my God, I’m shaking.”

Sichen stares at him. “But what if he doesn’t want to be my boyfriend and it was just a simple kiss?”

“Sicheng, you made out, that’s not simple,” Ten tells him. “That’s next leve, _he_ kissed _you_ too.”

“I know but—”

With an angered expression, Ten says, “stop finding excuses, talk to him.”

“Okay.”

What Sicheng doesn’t know is if he will be brave enough to do it first. 

-

**Yuta**

_we need to talk_ _  
_ _but like the good kind_ _  
_ _don’t panic_

**Sicheng**  
_i wasn’t panicking_

His hand had already started to sweat. 

**Yuta**  
_right right_ _  
_ _when are you done?_

**Sicheng**  
_in an hour, maybe_ _  
_ _is it about last night?_

**Yuta**  
_yeah dumbass_ _  
_ _also kinda wanna kiss you again_

**Sicheng**

_yuta._

**Yuta**  
_ok got it_

It makes his lips curl, staring at his phone, like an idiot that’s in love. And, this time, Sicheng isn’t afraid to admit it. 

**Sicheng**  
_wait for me_

**Yuta**  
_always_

-

Once Sicheng arrives to their dorm, Yuta is waiting for him, sitting on his bed.

His pillow is behind him, and it reminds him of the first time they met, all those months ago. How things changed, how he gradually has been changing, and how Yuta made him a better person. It’s emotive. 

“Hello, dear stranger,” Yuta says, grinning. 

“Don’t say that,” he grumbles, “makes me feel like a one night stand.”

“Oh,” Yuta voices, “sorry. That’s not at all what I want you to think, actually, I wanted to talk about it.”

Sicheng sits beside him, grabbing his own container of chinese food (it seems like that’s all Yuta likes to buy, yet Sicheng isn’t complaining). 

“Okay,” he says, mouth half full. Yuta smiles at him. “You start.”

“So, Dong Sicheng, wanna be my boyfriend?”

He almost chokes. Some of noodles get stuck in his throat and he coughs, loudly, until Yuta hands him a bottle of water.

“Damn, didn’t expect you to get so surprised.”

“Shut up,” he says once he’s able to form words. “I’m not surprised, I just…”

“Please don’t make me panic now.”

“Of course I do, idiot,” he replies, smiling, joy overflowing. Yuta doesn’t waste any time, and kisses him until Sicheng needs to breathe for the sake of his lungs. It’s not deep, nor passionate, it’s a kiss that conveys every single emotion. 

Then, setting the food aside, Yuta lays down on his bed and hugs his pillow. It brings back those memories again, that now, he treasures deeply in his content and sweet heart. 

“You’re doing it on purpose.”  
  


“Of course,” Yuta grins, “you look cute when you’re mad.”

Sicheng throws himself at him, fighting for the pillow, and Yuta continues grinning and then chuckling when he realizes Sicheng is not even strong enough to push him down.

“Can’t believe you’re this weak,” he says, mockingly. 

So he shows him. He sits on his lap, pillow forgotten, and grabs his hands until he pins them down on the mattress. Yuta’s face turns a glowing red. 

“Huh,” he mutters, hard to find his words, “I see you are strong enough.”

Then he leans down, kissing Yuta again, starting with a simple peck until Yuta is bending his head up to catch his mouth and bite on his bottom lip. It makes fire run through Sicheng’s veins, blood rushing towards his face and chest. He pushes down, now kissing him deeply, tilting his head so Yuta can access his mouth better. It’s wet, and the sounds they make would make him embarrassed in any other situation, but all Sicheng wants now is to stay seated on top of Yuta with their lips attached until they’re out of breath and numb. 

They kiss. And Sicheng has a real boyfriend now. 

-

“Well, finally, congratulations,” Johnny tells him, patting his back. Yuta smirks in front of him, and he wants to kill him. (And kiss him, too).

“Stop congratulating me,” Sicheng moans, “we’re just—together.”

“Babe, it’s a big deal, I managed to get into your cold heart,” Yuta says and Ten coos. Sicheng shoots daggers at him. 

“I’m not cold,” he defends himself, “at least now.”

“See, thanks to my wonderful flirty tactics.”

Johnny laughs. Ten grins. Sichengs wants to hide under the table.

“So watching bad movies was your tactic?”

“Exactly.”  
  


They continue talking until Yuta remembers he has an early class and waves goodbye, pecking Sicheng on the lips. It already feels domestic. 

“I’m so happy for you,” Ten starts, “you finally opened up to love and I’m—emotional.” 

Like an instinct, Johnny lends him his shoulder so Ten can put his head there, fitting comfortable. Sometimes Sicheng thinks they were made for each other (and he likes to think maybe Yuta was destined to appear in his life, to turn it upside down, like a hurricane, changing everything).

“Thank you,” Sicheng says, sincerely, “and thanks for your help. I think if I didn’t have both your support I wouldn’t have made it out alive.”

“You would have,” Johnny tells him as he caresses Ten’s back, “you’re strong, even if you think you’re not.”

“Stop, I might even cry.”

Ten suddenly sits up and claps excitedly. “Oh my God, please.”

“I’m not gonna cry!”

“Well, someday I’ll see you cry for the first time in my life and I’ll film it just to treasure it forever.”

Johnny sweetly hits the back of his neck. “You’re so mean.”

With a nod, Sicheng says, “I’ve been saying.”

But the thing is, Sicheng loves them both. He allows love to be an emotion he feels, he adores them, and wants to share it for the first time. 

“I still love you,” he mumbles. Not _that_ out loud. 

“What?”

“I said I love you.”

Ten pretends to faint as Johnny laughs and holds him. It makes Sicheng smiles.

“You’re—a bitch, but I love you so much! I love that you finally opened up to us! I love your cold facade,” Ten begins and he’s sure he could cry at any moment. “And I also love your—”

“That’s enough love for this decade.”

They both smile. It’s enough. 

-

The first time Sicheng dares to say those words to Yuta, is when he’s the most distracted.

Again, a movie is playing, and Sicheng attempts to pay attention because it is interesting, but the thought of love is starting to overwhelm him, making him unable to think about anything else. It’s a word that stays in his mouth and he allows it to stay until he’s ready. Yet, the moment comes naturally, with Yuta’s eyes fixated on the screen, completely engrossed, his hair messy from lying in bed all day, and Sicheng feels ready to say it. 

“You know,” he starts, Yuta pausing the movie instantly, “I love you.”

Yuta coughs. “You—I, uh, what?”

“Don’t make me say it again, it took me a while.”

“God,” Yuta takes a moment to process it, apparently, and looks deeply into his eyes with pure adoration, “I love you too.”

Sicheng can’t help but blush, grinning, happiness taking over him. It’s been stuck for so long, he finally feels free. 

“Ohhh,” Yuta pokes his cheeks, “you're blushing.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.”

“It’s not gonna work with me,” he says, teasingly. 

“Please?”

Yuta is his debility. A kryptonite. So he leans in, giving him a chaste kiss and pulling away, making Yuta pout. 

“You’re mean.”

“I’ve been told so.”

Then Yuta places his laptop on the end of the bed, careful as to not kick it accidentally, and turns around with a smirk on his face. There’s desire, now. And Sicheng wants it all. 

Yet, all Yuta does is shift closer and peck his nose. “I love you,” he says. He pecks his cheeks, his forehead, his eyelids. It’s so sweet Sicheng almost melts into the mattress. “I love you.”

His heart beats erratically, not nervously, but overwhelmingly full of feelings, as if it melts, turns into mush. Inside his body, his stomach fills with butterflies, and Sicheng has never been more in love in his entire life.

“I love you too,” and so Sicheng gives his nose a tiny kiss, which makes Yuta smile widely. It’s in the small details.

Sicheng is known for his lack of feelings.

Not empathetic enough, not emotional enough, not expressive enough. Now, this changed. Feelings are overwhelming, and his emotions are what he mostly shows. Entering his life, Yuta becomes an anomaly, a deviation of what he was so used to. He gain access to his heart, his mind, his brain, and alters what back then was a boring routine. A habit Sicheng had, to ignore his feelings, to avoid others attempting to get to know him, to evade Ten whenever the conversation got too deep. 

Yuta shakes up his world. And Sicheng couldn’t be more glad. 

**Author's Note:**

> [if you want to commission me all the info is here!!!](https://twitter.com/ten__wv/status/1241880594625200128?s=21)


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